That is the question that I’ve been asking myself for years…who the heck am I? Well, I guess it all started here. I’m their kid…and only child, for better or for worse! It began as a roller-coaster ride, continued on that path for many years and we still seem to be in that phase. Must be our chosen lesson to complete in this lifetime.
They used to say that my father looked like a brown-eyed Frank Sinatra. Couldn’t relate to Frank Sinatra as a kid so I didn’t see it, but I now think that he might have a resemblance to ole’ blue eyes when he was young. My father was huge in my life, even after the years of their short-lived marriage, due to Mom’s OCD. Not that I saw him but once a year, if that. But as we all know, a father is the most important person in a daughter’s life. That held true for me for many many years.
As fate would have it, after their separation, I lived with my mother moving from apartment to apartment, year after year. It was a crazy life and I remember being rebellious with every opportunity that presented itself, and there were many. Spent every available minute on the subway and bus systems going back and forth to my grandparents house. I just loved being there because they were “normal”.
Because of Mom’s OCD, I was on my own a lot, pretty much raising myself when not at my grandparent’s house. Although, there were many rocky roads, I got through them, leaving home when I was 15, going to live with a friend and her father. That lasted about a year, then moving to my father’s house….at that point I was asking myself more than ever, who the heck am I?